Giant Toy Soldiers With The Joker

I still cannot stand this bloody holiday known as Ex-Mess but if it offers some festive giant monsters then I'll take it!

Robin: Gargantuan killer toys whose bright colors highlight them from the otherwise pitch black background? I don't see any, Batman!

Here's a trio of giant toy soldiers from the fun but ultimately passable CHRISTMAS WITH THE JOKER, the second episode of BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES (November 13, 1992) which also marked that show's first appearance of the titular Clown Prince of Crime.

Despite the series' attempts to avoid the more fanciable clichés of children's adventure cartoons of the 1980s and early 1990s, the producers and writers would still dip their toes into such nonsense occasionally, as with their rendition of The Joker being surprisingly efficient at building murderous robots as either attack drones, booby traps (Hazel), or fully functioning henchmen (Captain Clown).

Despite their great size and stomping square-shaped feet, The Toy Soldier Robots were among The Joker's weaker creations as their heads were easily torn or knocked off by the defending Batman and Robin, destroying the holiday giants instantly.

I really have nothing much other to say about these three automatons other than that their Joker-like smiles were a nice design touch.

Criss-Mass still blows. Give us the time off but keep everything else I hate about this time of year. Happy Arbor Day, suckers!

Items From Hawanja - December 2018

My dear friend Hawanja offers the following unboxing video of the Thundercats Savage World figures; give it a watch if you can!

And while we're at it, here's Hawanja's review of the She-Ra revival.

The House of Wu: A Fallen Kingdom Review

I along with friends and fellow nerds KaijuNoir and Brayton sit down and share our audible thoughts via podcast on one of the year's more decisive-yet-belittled films Jurassic World: The Fallen Kingdom. Take a listen and enjoy.

The Aquabats' Super Kickstarter!

ARTICLE UPDATE: Here's a new Kickstarter video by The Aquabats!​ discussing their now newly rebooted campaign.

So... Yeah, this happened as burning testament to why I prefer not to cover current events: The Aquabats have wisely decided to reboot their Kickstarter campaign to more realistic stretch goals and limit their AQUABATS! SUPER SHOW! as an easier to produced web-series based on the success they've been having with the previously shared online mini-series.

On one hand, I'm happy for them to lower their ambitions to something more manageable and easier to attain but, on the other hand, I'm reminded why I shouldn't touch current news and related reviews and leave that work to the in-the-know professionals.

Articles on pre-existing obscure and lesser-known giant monsters coming up in September, you know, the EASY stuff!

The Aquabats! From left-to-right: EagleBones Falconhawk (Ian Fowles), Crash McLarson (Chad Larson), The MC Bat Commander (Christian Jacobs), Jimmy the Robot (James R. Briggs, Jr.), and Ricky Fitness (Richard Falomir)

Living in Los Angeles back in the early 1990's, a local Orange County station would aired a late, late, late night music video show entitled ARE-OH-VEE which played alternate and punk rock music videos too obscure or offbeat for 120 MINUTES. It was on this program that me and my two younger brothers were introduced to the humorous group known as THE AQUABATS through their host segments for Are-Oh-Vee and through their music video SUPER RAD:

Taking their name from some fairly obscure Hanna-Barbera monsters (from MIGHTY MYTOR AND MOBY DICK THE SUPER WHALE), The Aquabats were equally influenced by the campy superhero shows on yesteryear, particularly the 1960's BATMAN and numerous Japanese-based productions like ULTRAMAN and JOHNNY SOKKO AND HIS FLYING ROBOT.

You can clearly see the influence in the following videos featuring their 1999 demo pilot for a planned Aquabats television series and a tongue-in-cheek recounting of the band's history with such failed pilots before finally finding success on The Hub cable network:

Even though The Hub eventually went under after a relatively short time in existence, THE AQUABATS SUPER SHOW lasted for an impressive 21 episodes: the following video gives one a taste of the series' bizarre style and hyper-kinetic energy:

If you want to delve even deeper into the Aquabats' rabbit hole, all their second season episodes are (at the time of this writing) accessible for free on their official YouTube channel. Here's four such episodes that also happen to be my personal favorites:

RETURN OF THE AQUABATS: https://youtu.be/KlPqCW24B90

THE ANTIBATS: https://youtu.be/rCMtjswEd6Q

SHARK FIGHTER: https://youtu.be/aLk-hMC3al0

KITTY LITTER: https://youtu.be/3yBbs7zzqmo

By this point in the article, you're either fully on board with this particular flavor of madness or have grabbed your computer with both arms and threw it out the window, cursing both me (Enshohma) and The Aquabats in tandem. If you're among the former then congratulations because I'm about to discuss the band's highly ambitious (some may even say foolish) Kickstarter that is coming to a close this very week.

At the time of this writing (where have a read those words before?) the campaign only has five days left and is just half-way to its end goal so any support at this point would be welcomed.

KICKSTARTER PAGE CAN BE FOUND HERE!

The Aquabats have also uploaded a related mini-series that continues from their series with this first episode explaining the campaign in full... After the parade of celebrity guests of course.

The here's the rest of the mini-series complete with recaps from the band's channel re-posted here for a narrative sake:

After The MC Bat Commander visits The Wizard of Hollywood, he's on a mission to gather a LEGION OF RIGHTEOUS COMRADES to help make MORE MUSIC & MORE TV. But first... The Bat Commander must find his best homies - THE OTHER AQUABATS!

The MC Bat Commander continues his mission to gather a Legion of Righteous Comrades and find all of his fellow Aquabats. This time, he's off to find Jimmy the Robot at his cool job in the arcade... until things don't go exactly as planned.

It's Episode 4 of The Bat Commander's quest to gather The Legion of Righteous Comrades and his fellow Aquabats. Are the Commander's dance moves rad enough to save his friend? Did Jimmy the Robot survive the belly of the mechanical beast?

After a desert scrapper dance off, The MC Bat Commander and Jimmy the Robot go to find Eaglebones Falconhawk. But can they overcome his job security? Will Eaglebones' boss tolerate The MC Bat Commander's inability to use an inside voice?

A lactose-laden terror revealed itself at Eaglebones' place of work, and now it's up to our heroes to deal with the milky madness so that they can continue to find their friends and gather a Legion of Righteous Comrades! Can The Aquabats survive the flaky furor of POWDERED MILK MAN?

After a narrow escape from the dreaded Powdered Milk Man, our heroes continue their quest to find all of The Aquabats. As the guys find Ricky, a beef with some beach bum bullies may end up becoming the least of their worries!

RELATED LINKS OF INTEREST:

The Aquabats' Official Facebook
The Aquabat's Official Web-Site
Billboard's Article on The Aquabats' Kickstarter Campaign
The Aquabats Super Show DVDs For Purchase, Direct From The Bats Themselves

The Angry Red Video Omnibus

At first I was just going to share Brandon Tenold's latest review for THE ANGRY RED PLANET (1959) but, instead, let's do a whole line up of related videos.

Here's the original theatrical trailer for the film over-hyping the Cinemagic technique, courtesy of Scream Factory:

TEXT LINK: https://youtu.be/cBAJEczBaHY

Next, Brandon's humorous take on the film with title card art by yours truly. Wait for the twist ending:

TEXT LINK: https://youtu.be/QDK8PcuyzuY

Next up is the uncut voice-over I did for the previous video, poking fun at the otherwise ominous Martian warning from the film's end. The skit was also inspired by Brandon's numerous subscribers who keep requesting film reviews from him for good or ill. Big thanks to Brayton Conner for the video editing:

TEXT LINK: https://youtu.be/pw5EyNmcm5k

Now for some second opinions on the film, starting with Kaiju Movie Reviews:

TEXT LINK: https://youtu.be/lGkyFew3nTE

Here's The Retro Nerd Girl rather affectionate review for the movie:

TEXT LINK: https://youtu.be/iJpvZe-VXAg

Here's Gary and Iain of Off The Shelf Reviews share their thoughts on the film:

TEXT LINK: https://youtu.be/xLCmQxY3tCw

And, finally, a nearly hour-and-a-half podcast from Film Struck:

TEXT LINK: https://youtu.be/WHLCRok13fI

The Hobbit: There And What-The-Hell Again

Internet critic Lindsay Ellis has just completed an impressive three-part retrospective autopsy (for lack of a better term) of the regretfully bloated Hobbit film trilogy (2012-2014).

Lindsay, along with several actors and filmmakers connected to the New Zealand film industry, gives the clearest picture yet of how this cinematic misfire came about and the surprising amount of damage it brought to New Zealand.

Godzilla Meets Pacific Rim... In Poster Form!

Facebook is a confusing and inefficient distraction, equally terrible for archiving articles, that wastes time and this would still be true even if said networking service wasn't openly selling your search data and personal information.

NO! You can wear the tinfoil hat! I'm bitter!

With that factual gag now out of the way, I will admit that one of the better Facebook pages that I follow is Gormaru Island, a giant monster-based news-stream overseen by the always diligent Gormaru Omega (real-name is currently unknown but Facebook promised me that I can get it for a bargain price so stay tune).

Unless Gormaru Omega requests otherwise (or threaten to sell my search history that he can buy off from Facebook's info dealers), I'll be sharing the more intriguing news-bites from his fantastic page on my blog, mainly for archiving purposes, starting off with the first official crossover between Godzilla and Pacific Rim!

Don't get TOO excited... It's just an official visual collaboration in movie poster form.

Godzilla: Look at all these nifty action figures I just bought!

FROM GORMARU ISLAND, originally posted on 4/11/2018, 1:53 AM:

"GODZILLA: City on the Edge of Battle" and "Pacific Rim Uprising" Storm An Official Visual Collaboration Together

The collaboration was produced in commemoration of the continuous theatrical films released from both series, which for Godzilla is the second anime film "Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle". And for Pacific Rim is the second film installment, "Pacific Rim Uprising".

The visual collaboration was illustrated by Hidetaka Tenjin. A professional talent classified as a sci-fi illustrator and freelancer artist. He has also worked in various anime productions as a mechanical, texture, and special effects artist. Involved in properties such as "MACROSS", "Gundam Evolve", "Hellsing Ultimate", and more! As well as having done videogame box-art illustration work for franchise games such as Mobile Suit Gundam and MACROSS.

From the visual, GODZILLA Earth from the Godzilla Anime Trilogy, and the new generation of Jaegers from Pacific Rim Uprising, cross properties with each other. In what will be one of the most awesome and fitting crossovers to emerge from the kaiju genre.

One of the directors of the Anime GODZILLA series, Kobun Shizuno, went on to say that such a collaboration was something that he'd like to see on screen someday.

(((If it's an anime film that we're talking, then we'd love to see that too!)))

"Pacific Rim Uprising" will hit Japan's market on April 13, 2018. The second Godzilla anime film, "GODZILLA: City on the Edge of Battle", will be released in Japan on May 18, 2018.

Original Japanese News Link: https://natalie.mu/eiga/news/277557

Review All Movies Is Finally Here!

Here it is! The most glorious movie review podcast series in the history of the universe is finally here at last. You're ALL welcome.

Huge thanks to friends and film researchers Jason Brown, Daniel Roach, Sandra Alucard, Eric Hurd, Lucas Gabat, Jack H. Hogson, Peter Serafinowicz, Tyler Shewchuk, Kevin Derendorf, Gail Linda Lewis, and M.A.R.C. for gathering the film titles used in this video which can also be viewed below:

Locomotive Moves Towards Camera
Couple Dances On Camera
Dog Looks Into Camera
Kids Swim In Water For The Camera
Old Crone Washes Dishes For The Camera
Sensual Arab Woman Belly Dances For The Camera
Paint Drying For The Camera
Grass Grows For The Camera
An Octopus Sleeps For The Camera
Clouds Move In Wind For The Camera
Hispanic Monks Do Backflips At Gunpoint For The Camera
Norma Desmond Looks At You Through The Camera
Old Crone Washes Dishes For The Camera 2: Wash Harder
Nothin’ Really Happens On Camera
The Great Barn Hootenanny
The Sinful Robbing Of A Train
Norma Desmond Is The Goddess Of The Screen
The Little Dutch Boy Who Saved Pittsburgh
It Came from Canada
Death by Stupidity
Norma Desmond Saves The Puny Dutch Boy
The Night The Reindeer Died
The Adventures of Mister Negro
Norma Desmond Saves The Reindeer
The Year Of Five Seasons
Fritz Lang’s Big Futuristic City
The Year Of Norma Desmond
The Silent Mute
The Four Seasons Of Norma Desmond
Mister Negro Goes To Town
The Royal Rascal
Norma Desmond Is The Royal Queen
Count Orgoff, The Jewish-Looking Vampire
Attack of the Centaur Women
Day of the Weasel
When Dinosaurs Cooled the Earth
The Golem vs. the Mechanical Thugs
Survival of the Dimmest
Norma Desmond, Vampire Hunter
The Orchid Thief
Norma Desmond Saves Hollywood From Itself
The Witches Of Lawndale
The Giant Stegosaur Who Ate The Big Apple
Norma Desmond, Dinosaur Slayer
Professor Julius Tannen's Talking Pictures Demonstration Film
Norma Desmond Presnest Professor Julius Tannen Is A Big Fat Charlatan!
The Musical Singer
The First Talkie Movie
Another Talking Feature
Catch Them Eskimos, The First Talkie Comedy!
Behold! Norma Desmond Speaks!
The Fall of the House of Usher
Midgets On The Moon
The Duelling Cavalier
The Curious Case Of The Southern Vapors
The Purple Rose Of Cairo
Joe Louis Meets Frankenstein
Massacre in Flatworm Flats
Sins of Madame Mantis
My Face Is Made Of Skin
Norma Desmond Sings Better Than Don Lockwood
The Phantom Creaks
Cat and the Canadian
Abbott and Costello Meet King Kong
The Ape Who Challenged Chicago
The Fall of the House of Usher II: Sink Even Deeper
Authoritarianism: The Golden Future Of America
Slap My Bottom And Call Me Daisy!
The Tap Dancing Fool
W Is For Woman
Monday Is Unfun
Waiter, There's Coke In My Coke!
Norma Desmond, Queen Of Hollywood
Ten Little Rabbis
Norma Desmond's Revenge
The Man Who Said Ouch
Angels With Filthy Souls
King Cod
Norma Desmond Versus King Kong And Wins Too!
The White Goddess Of Canada
Angels With Even Filthier Souls
Norma Desmond Burns Hollywood Down: A Grand Farewell
Tilly Tallman, The Duke Of Limbs
My Left Foot Ran Away
G-Men Ghosts
Frankenstein Conquers Broadway
A Room With No View

The Eradication Of The Irishman: A Government Sanctioned Training Film In Ten Parts

Here Comes Jimbo
The Amazing World Of Kevin Derendorf
Return of the Thinner Man
Cow-Handed Fred
Jimbo Flys Again
My Dog, The G-Man
I Bury The Dead
The Carl Brothers In Automobile Antics
Thar She Blows
Abbott and Costello Meet The Hunchback
Jimbo Meets The Creep
Jimbo In The Navy
Son of Fu Manchu
The Vampire Dame

Intelligence, Enemy Of The Common Man - A Government Sanctioned Training Film In Ten Parts

Death’s Head Upon A Mop-Stick
The Daffy Deviations of Dr. Don't
The Dentist of Dracula
Jaws of the Werewolf
They Hunt in the Dark 
Attack of the Hyena Men!
There's a Fat Guy Stuck In The Cheese Vat
The Fussbudget Must Be Destroyed
The 15 Lovers Of Miss Blue
The Waxwork Weirdo
The Well Lit House
Chuckle Head Ed
The Biggest Boner
The Mummy's Matchmaker
Daniel Roach And His Mermaid Comedy Revue
Ghost of Kong
Son of Ygor
I Married A Black Woman And I'm Totally Alright With That
Whimper of the Werewolf
Shed of Frankenstein
The Cat Crouches
My Sassy Oriental Girlfriend
The Invisible Man Departs
The Milkman Kills At Night
The Headless Handyman
Lucas Gabet Is On The Case
Marihuana Mayhem
The 15 Divorces Of Miss Blue
The Creature of Kwyjibo Lake
The Mormons Strike Back
Shadow of the Cat Lady
Global Warming And Pollution: A Serious Threat For Our Future World
The Foggy Brute
Revenge of the Mormons
Moby Dick Meets The Loch Ness Monster
Gorillas On Broadway
The Naked Woman Moons At Night
The Cave Beast
Sam Spade: Professional Greedy Guts
Terror of the Mecca Mormons
Son of Moby Dick And The Loch Ness Monster
Rock Woodhard Goes West

The Cavemen And Their Heroic Struggles Against The Saber-Toothed Smilodon Cats Of Prehistoric Brazil

The Lost Friday
Enter the Mormon
All Hat And No Cattle
There's A Spider On Your Shoulder!
Gentleman of Four Outs
Sugar Daddies The Musical
The Terror of Regular Sized Town
Do The Ice Age Shuffle
No, Seriously, There's A Goddamn Spider On Your Shoulder!
Eric Hurd On Monster Island
Dracula's Cat
Son of the Cave Beast
The Chiropractor Always Cracks Twice
Tyler Shewchuk, Nephew Of Tarzan
The Devious Doctor Radium
Al Capone Is a Swell Guy
The Big Clam
How To Kill Your Mother-In-Law
Psychics' Get-together With Gubfield Queerborn
Kiss Me, Fatty!
Calling Doctor Camebert
The Magical Banjo of Charley Barley
Five Hours Of Sir Monty Pembury-Winchester Screaming Into The Night
The Secret Urine Detective
You Should Have Taken The Piss Out Of Me, Bub!
The Danny Dumpo Comedies (A Series Of 75 British Shorts)
The Secret Potato Garden of Betty Cumberdale
Tony, The Six Month Old Gangster
Mars Is No Place For A Dame
The Sharpest Scissors In All Of Aragorn
Bulimia Beaumont In Hair For Sale
Journey To The Center of The Sun
Manthony Popkin's Tales Of The Sleazy Night
Ghost of Planet X
The Angriest Saxophone In The World
Abbott And Costello Meet Themselves
Kali Takes A Holiday
Night of the Mormons
Gail Linda Lewis And Her American Travelogues
The Day Horrors
The Illusion of Sanity
The Temptress in the Plaid Apron
Ten Minutes 'til Bedtime
The Knock at the Screen Door
The Tail that Wags the Cradle
The Wind Whispered Boredom
Riddle Misunderstood
A Waste of a Good Afternoon
Genius Undisciplined
The Biscuit Incident: A Tale Based On True Events
Robert Mosley Versus The Robot Men
My Neighbor The Flasher
Wife of the Wolfman
Attack of Hitler's Brain
The Shape Of Lava
The Murderist
I Was Fondled By Frisky Spiders

All Hail Our Incoming Masters The Stone Giants - A Government Sanctioned Training Film In Ten Parts

Attack Of The 50 Foot Foot
Knight Of The Living Room
Godzilla Vs Boring Old Zombies
The Snow Devil Who Loved Me
The Mutants of 2051 AD
Lucas Lee The Action Doctor
The Music Man Meets Dracula
Jason Brown Is A Man About Town
It Came... From PLANET EARTH!
It Came... To Eat Brains
The Beast from the Primordial Ooze
Mant!
Codename: Dragonfly
Gaydar: The Most Unfortunately Named Monster
The Silver Eyes of Hair-Bot-001
*The Beach of Hubanta Tabbotee
Invasion of the Venus Vixens
The Brain That Ate Manhattan!
It Came To Eat... Even More Brains
Attack of The Dog Man
The Son of the Dog Man
I Was A Teenage Gorgon
Vampires of Mars
The Day The Dinosaurs Devoured Detroit
Bride from the Black Lagoon
*Elvis Meets Godzilla: Battle Of The Jumbo Kings
The Very Large Guy From Outer Space
Space Sharks and the Women who Love Them
Frogalanche
Those
The Day the Earth Stood Stiff
The Vole People
Earth vs. the Tiger
The Brawling Eye
Welcome To Sir Huge Dash-Hyphen's Royal Orgy, Volume One
Welcome To Sir Huge Dash-Hyphen's Royal Orgy, Volume Two
Welcome To Sir Huge Dash-Hyphen's Royal Orgy, Volume Three
Norma Desmond Comes Back From Retirement! Praise Her! Praise Her!

The Shape of Water Review

Can a relationship between a woman and a fish-man work on the big screen? Can KaijuNoir and Raf Enshohma keep the silly inter-species sex jokes to a minimum?

Find out in our podcast review for Guillermo del Toro's latest film, The Shape of Water (2017).

Shout Outs: Doctor Who Reviews

Shout Outs is where I showcase works from other independent creators such as artists I know from DeviantART or producers from YouTube. Expect a lot of these throughout 2018 because I cannot vouch for the availability of my own original works around here anymore.

Today, we have Richard D. Carrier's fantastic series of fan-made documentaries looking back at the history of the long-running Doctor Who franchise.

Unlike the simple v-logs found on the subject, Richard's videos are on par with the special features from official Doctor Who releases and educational for those wishing to get into the older series that ran from from November 23rd, 1963 until December 6th, 1989.

Support Richard at his Facebook page FOUND HERE.

Doctor Who Review, Part 1 - Introduction and Overview:

Doctor Who Review, Part 2 - The William Hartnell Era:

Doctor Who Review, Part 3 - The Patrick Troughton Era:

Doctor Who Review, Part 4 - The Jon Pertwee Era:

Doctor Who Review, Part 5 - The Tom Baker Era:

Clearly, Richard's retrospective is far from completed and I'll share each new entry as they are posted along with updating this same article.