Happy Easter, Rabbit, The Giant Rabbit!

My horrible timing once again ruins me as I completely oblivious that today is Easter Sunday and should have posted something Easter related for this group, whether it be original artwork or a rabbit-based kaiju like Lunaticks from Ultraman Ace or Hiso from Gekiranger (there's also the enlarged killer rabbits from Night of The Lepus but that would have been the easy way out).

Thankfully, l have a backlog of older commissions and thus I present to you a separate gallery featuring Rabbit: an enlarged rabbit kaiju I drew for the now obscure tabletop RPG Smash Monster Rampage, published by 5th Street Games back in 2010. The product didn't make any significant waves upon its release that same year but I was paid handsomely for the gig and deeply appreciate the assignment and its producers.

While not my design nor original character concept, I came to love the playful, strangely innocent, but no-less destructive Rabbit while illustrating this pieces.

Extra thanks to my friend Luis Calderon for assistants on the fittingly cartoony background inks.

Yes, that's supposed to be Dr. Serizawa from original Godzilla '54 below.

Battered and bruise, surrounded by hostile humans on all sides, Rabbit retreats in sorrow.

Giant Toy Soldiers With The Joker

I still cannot stand this bloody holiday known as Ex-Mess but if it offers some festive giant monsters then I'll take it!

Robin: Gargantuan killer toys whose bright colors highlight them from the otherwise pitch black background? I don't see any, Batman!

Here's a trio of giant toy soldiers from the fun but ultimately passable CHRISTMAS WITH THE JOKER, the second episode of BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES (November 13, 1992) which also marked that show's first appearance of the titular Clown Prince of Crime.

Despite the series' attempts to avoid the more fanciable clichés of children's adventure cartoons of the 1980s and early 1990s, the producers and writers would still dip their toes into such nonsense occasionally, as with their rendition of The Joker being surprisingly efficient at building murderous robots as either attack drones, booby traps (Hazel), or fully functioning henchmen (Captain Clown).

Despite their great size and stomping square-shaped feet, The Toy Soldier Robots were among The Joker's weaker creations as their heads were easily torn or knocked off by the defending Batman and Robin, destroying the holiday giants instantly.

I really have nothing much other to say about these three automatons other than that their Joker-like smiles were a nice design touch.

Criss-Mass still blows. Give us the time off but keep everything else I hate about this time of year. Happy Arbor Day, suckers!

APOCALYPSE NOT!

Oh my God(zilla)! What a horrible day I've had!

The Apocalypse apparently happened today...and you are all dead.

Thankfully, human ghosts are directly connected to Japanese-made computers and the Internet, so we can still talk to each other online. But as the sole survivor of humanity (minus all the other lone survivors of humanity), it is my SkyNET given duty share my harrowing tale with you all!

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I was sleeping comfortably in my unattended hospital bed for 28 days, when suddenly I was awaken by a bunch of futuristic soldiers, claiming that 'Blue Bugs' were coming in to kill me. That or the new biological weapon dubbed 'Italian Flue' - really I can't remember which one again.

While we were escaping the hospital, located on the poorly lit district of 7th Street, we were suddenly ambushed by zombies, including the ones that can't run OR walk slowly.

The soldiers were then eaten by the zombies...and when I mean eaten, I actually mean they disappeared into thin air - another byproduct of New Zealand's damn Project Flashlight experiments. No clue if they've been disintegrated, or been teleported to one of the inhabitable moons of Saturn...or Purgatory, as I can never tell with those ambiguous endings.

So I'm power-walking for my life from the zombies, when equally as sudden, vampires showed up to challenge the zombies, to see who get's to eat the last human alive on Earth (me of course). But before their battle commenced, I notice some old guy sobbing over his broken pair of glasses outside the public library. And I said to the vampires and zombies alike "Why don't you eat that guy over there, for clearly I am not the last human to feast upon?!?".

The vampire leader said "What are you, insensitive? That guy broke his glasses and really doesn't need more stress from the likes of us!"

So the vampires and zombies began to fight over me, when suddenly some really poorly designed and equally constructed robots came walking by, and took electronic mind-control over all the zombies and vampires, for reasons that were never revealed to me.

Just than, a big old triceratops puppet came after me, forcing me to kill a man-sized bat creature in order to use its corpse to fly away to safety from prehistoric beast. Eventually, my 'dead bat glider' landed me right into a cave, owned by extreme survivalist Ray Milland, who mistakes me for a dope addict.

Ray Milland then proceeds to open fire on me with his riffle, while constantly apologizing for doing so all at the same time!

I eventually escape to safety, and while wondering the barren country roads, a giant super-truck of Military design pulled up besides me. The 'Super Truck' was being driven by a telepathic dog, who offered me a ride. I gladly accepted his offer, but have-way into our pleasant road trip, two British police detectives in a broken car attached to a hot air balloon, started giving us the business. And proceeded to bombard us with satire, wit, and sacrificial thirty-year-olds from above.

And you know they were thirty-year-olds, because the diamonds in their hands had expired to blinking red.

I decided to leave the telepathic dog to fend for himself against the British police officers, and made my way to desert, which was being patrolled by blood-sucking android knights!

Thankfully, the blood-sucking android knights were too busy to bother with me, as they were all in bloody combat against an alpha male dragon of gigantic size...because apparently dragons are alive again now.

I personally lay the blame on those fairy tale goblins armed with World War II weaponry.

Days later, while wandering the cursed Earth, a huge floating stone face appeared before me, and tried to convince me to wear an unappealing bright orange Speedo-like outfit.

I said "No", but the twisted stone face insisted that I should, especially since he ran out of guns to give to murderous people hours ago. Annoyed, I continued walking, but the damn perverted, if not pretentious, hovering stone face wouldn't leave me alone, who then tried to sell me DVD copies of "Tank Girl" in place of questionable orange underwear.

It was then that I realized that the giant hovering stone face was an artificial fake, piloted by non-other than comedic character actor Wallace Shawn. I was like "Why are you piloting a giant hovering stone face and trying to sell me orange underwear and "Tank Girl" discs"?

From which Wallace Shawn replied "Because I've got nothing better to do...that, and I think I MIGHT be the Anti-Christ...Again, the keyword being 'think'".

Sadly, our conversation was ended abruptly by the blue mutant giant known as Devil Reverse, who quickly rode in upon the back of a far larger Ohmu (sort of an evolved mega-worm creature). With the swipe of his mighty hand, Devil Reverse knocked down Wallace Shawn and his giant stone gift shop in the sky to the ground. It exploded upon contact, and littering the cursed landscape with flaming underwear and unwanted digital discs!

As the demonic giant rode away, he said to me in a loud, booming voice "Beware the tree pollen!". And as quickly as he arrived, Devil Reverse and his Ohmu steed disappeared over the horizon.

I still have no idea what "Beware the tree pollen" even means!

Anyway, after several years serving as a postman on horseback, I now live in the deserted city of New York, with Harry Belafonte and his lady friend Inger Stevens, who both have affectionately dubbed me 'The Greatest Third-Wheel In Human History'.

And every Sunday afternoon, we all drive down to our local box canyon, and mess around with the three-eyed mutants that inhabit the region.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I was completely blind during this entire adventure.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

When Giant Monsters Fall In Love

Before we begin, there's two things that you all should know about me.

The FIRST of which is my unfathomable knack for incredibly bad timing, especially when it comes to corresponding dates and releases of films or television shows worthy of mentioning. For example, I upload an article discussing an art project that I'm personally proud of, and then suddenly, Godzilla decides to return from movie retirement, overshadowing my aforementioned post.

The SECOND is something that's most certainly my willing fault, and its my disliking (sometimes dreading) of Holidays in general, and my attempts to ignore or avoid them outright. And I've been doing this for so long (mixed with my own bad timing), that I've often forget the majority of their yearly arrival times.

I really don't mind, if not care, about this at all, because for me personally, Holidays are like mandatory company picnics; you're forced to have fun with a relatively unimportant event, that eats up into both your own free time, and more important matters in real life as well.

Although to be fair, if you refuse to enjoy a Holiday, you'll usually get called a 'Scrooge' or a 'Grinch' before you even have the chance to explain yourself. But at a company picnic, where a similar situation happens, you run the very real chance of getting fired for not participating with the troublesome event 'one-hundred-and-ten-percent'. So I guess holidays is the lesser evil, BUT that still doesn't mean I want to put up with either of these two torture sessions.

And needless to say, this includes my own birthday, which I know doesn't technically count as a holiday...but its still just a bothersome, and as such, ends up being a holiday (bother) for me overall.

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So with all that said, I do find myself sometimes, JUST SOMETIMES, getting into the spirit of some of these blasted holidays, because it really is infectious at times (i.e. Halloween). But again, mixed with my own bad timing, I often find myself doing such activities way too late.

The following portion is such an example of all the previously mentioned, and was originally uploaded at my DeviantART group dubbed Kaijuden. And it was my friend Mark Rivers who suggested this would have made better fodder for my official blog. And of course, me not giving a damn about holidays and proper scheduling, I'm presenting it here as my weekly update, as a good 45-minutes worth of online entertainment for all of you.

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It's (late) Valentine's Day! And what better way to celebrate than to take a quick look back at bizarre moments in giant monster history, when the air was thick with romance.

"Inhumanoids: Primal Passions"

The 1980's cartoon (loosely inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft), was a fairly straight-faced affair when it came to its main villains, the subterranean beasts which included the demonic tyrant Metlar, the prehistoric zombie D.Compose, and the destructive plant being Tendril. But as with all cartoon shows from this decade, even the Inhumanoids had their silly moments, with this as a particularly infamous episode!

A failed chemical experiment puts our three main villains...well...'in the mood', who then seek out worthy mates for each of them. Though to be honest, only D.Compose ends up somewhat successful, by re-mutating, and then re-hooking up with the human heroine Sandra Shore. You can watch this surreal entry in the following link:

Godzilla's Dr. Pepper Commercials

In an early example of painfully overt movie product tie-ins, the US distributor of "Godzilla 1985", New World Pictures, teamed up with Dr. Pepper for mutual exposure. And resulted in some truly awkward product placement in the American version, while Godzilla stared in some surprisingly decent comedy ads on television.

The second of which featured a brand new monster called 'Newzilla' (AKA 'Mrs. Godzilla'), of whom the King of the Monsters becomes instantly smitten to (must be those blue ultra-bright spotlight eyes of her's). Warning, the following videos have low audio.

"Godzilla the Series: End of the Line"

Of course you can't talk about Newzilla without mentioning this far more beloved suitor to the King of the Monsters...or at least the animated American incarnation, that fans can tolerate better than the 1998 live action disappointment that spawned it.

Komodithrax is a mutated Komodo Dragon who is discovered on an isolated arctic oasis, heated by geothermic features. And because Komodithrax is somewhat similar to the mutant iguana version of Godzilla (or Zilla), the two fall in love, with the American Godzilla becoming a surrogate father to the female monster's unhatched egg. Unfortunately, both a trigger happy US military, and a Giant Arctic Turtle, threatens this makeshift monster family.

There are of course many other giant monster items beyond these three examples, but this post is going on way too long as it is, and may save those for next year's Valentine's Day...Or maybe not.